It's Our Life (One-shots)
by TamyG
Summary: Random short stories that revolve around the life of Bruce and Joker as a couple, along with Alfred because I love his attitude! AU, Slash & Fluffiness.
1. Scars

**Scars**

"Bruce?" Joker moaned as he stirred while trying to open his half-closed eyes.

"Did I wake you up?" Bruce asked apologetically.

The Joker simply nodded with a yawn.

The billionaire brought the clown closer as he traced his index along the white torso.

"Do to remember how you got each scar?" Bruce asked.

"Yah." Joker grinned sluggishly.

Bruce slid down, bringing his face closer to one of the scars, and placed a peck. He then moved to the next scar, and so on.

"What are you doing, Brucie?" Joker asked, though he wholly enjoyed it.

"So every time you see, feel or touch a scar." Bruce replied as he tried to hide his embarrassment, and not to meet Joker's gaze, "The only thing you would remember is the touch of my lips."

"Oww... who knew my Bats was such a _romántico_!" Joker teased with his widest grin, "My dark knight in a shining kevlar."

"Shut up..." Bruce frowned and slipped under the sheets.


	2. Birthday Gift

**Birthday Gift**

"Getting a billionaire a birthday gift sucks!" Joker frowned, "You can have everything you want."

"One. I can and I do have everything l want, and it's wrapped around my arms." Bruce smirked as he pulled his Clown Prince into an embrace, "And two. It didn't cost me a dime now, did it?"

"Just a few broken bones on both sides?" Joker grinned.


	3. Joker's Gift

**Joker's Gift**

"So, what did you get me?" Bruce asked while trying to hide his eagerness.

"I thought I was 'everything you wanted'" Joker teased as he handed Bruce an orange wrapped box.

After unwrapping Joker's gift.

"Y-you got us… a couple's T-shirt?" Bruce exclaimed as he felt a tingling sensation across his cheeks.

"Yup!" Joker grinned mischievously, "Come on, wear yours."

Seconds later,

"_He's mine_. _I'm his_. Cute." Alfred remarked curtly, "How original of you Mr. Joker."


	4. Harley's Gift

**Harley's Gift**

"O' goodie! It's a gift from Harls!" Joker grinned, "C'mon open it, Bruce!"

After unwrapping the red box.

"What the..." Bruce mumbled as his face turned bright red.

"I gotta hand it down to her." Joker laughed hysterically, "This gal has always had a wild imagination!"

"Ehm!" Alfred announced his presence as he stared at the handcuffs held by his Master, "Well, that might come in handy. I must say, the woman at least has rather a exquisite taste. Not something I would say about you, Mr. Joker."


	5. Purple is the new sexy

**Purple is the new sexy**

"Owwwww c'moooon, Brucey!" Joker whined, "It would look amazing on you! You have to trust me on this!"

"No way!" Bruce growled in disbelief, and looked at his loyal butler for support.

"Oh, come along, Master Bruce." Alfred addressed his master as a sly smile crept along his face, "I have to agree with Master Joker here. I think a _purple_ suit would most indeed look dashing on you."

* * *

**A/N: I do hope there are readers who enjoy those short stories, because this has been getting a lot of views but barely any reviews.**


	6. The Pancake Revenge - Part 1

**Revenge Pancakes? - Part 1**

"Ohhhhh Sweetuuuums~" Joker called out from down stairs, "Breakfast is ready."

"Why does is it smell like…"

"Pancakes?" Joker interrupted Bruce with an innocent smile.

"You sure these are edible?" Bruce stared at the stack of black entities that were supposed to be pancakes, and which were surprisingly well decorated; topped with mixed berries and drizzled with maple syrup.

"What are you talking about, dearest?" Joker asked with a surprised face, "I woke up early just to prepare those **love-filled** pancakes! I tried to make them in your favorite color too, **black**. But I guess I went to far. You don't like them, do you? I should've known better. I always destroy whatever I touch. You don't have to eat them. Here let me…"

"Oh…no…no…" Bruce laughed nervously as he pulled the plate from Joker, "I do like, eh, black, and I will definitely not let your efforts goes to waste."

"Really? You won't?" Joker stared at Bruce with an adoration of a seven-year old boy for his favorite hero.

"Um-hmmm…" Bruce nodded as he tried to chew on the hard surface, "It's the _*cough*_ s-sentiment _*cough*_ that counts, right?"

"Ow, Brucie." Joker smiled at the man as he coughed, "Let me bring you something to drink with that. You know I've prepared the best black coffee to go with it!"

"Really?" Bruce tried to smile through the pain that seared through his taste buds for eating the worst plate of pancakes, and dreading what was coming next.

"Really…" Joker chuckled as he gave his back to Bruce and headed to the kitchen, "Revenge is indeed a dish best served black."

* * *

**A/N: Joker is just having a little payback since Bruce refused to wear a suit in his favorite color. And btw, I somewhat got this idea from one of Lovejoker's sketches "Batcakes for Batsy!" , she's got an amazing talent! Do check it out on her DA account lovejoker4ever.**


	7. The Pancake Revenge - Part 2

**Revenge Pancakes? - Part 2**

"Oh, my dearest sanctuary…" Alfred mumbled in sorrow as he looked at the kitchen, where it seemed like an air raid had taken place.

"Oh, Alfie. There's nothing we can't fix with the help of a mop and a bucket of water." Joker grinned as he patted the old man's shoulder, "Hmm… maybe a plumber for that, and little bit of plaster there… Ooow, and that looks like it's going to need a whole lots of paint…Oh, oh, and a new shinny stove, because that looks like it going on a one-way trip to the scrapyard… and… and…"

"Just please… let me grieve." Alfred sighed in dismay.

"Oh, c'mon! Don't be such a drama queen your majesty!" Joker cackled as he left the kitchen for the living room, "And that's, ladies and gents, how you hit a **bat** and its **poodle** with a pancake batter."

* * *

**A/N: That's what poor Alfred gets from the Joker for his snobby attitude! Anyways, I don't think I will be updating this anytime soon. Obviously from the lack of motivation.**


End file.
